adrift at sea

Josh and I have been struggling, to be honest. We thought we would know by now what we were supposed to do next, where we are going to live, and what Josh will be doing for a job. And we still have no clue. It's hard not to wonder why we even came out here, we were looking for an adventure, for something new, for purpose, and we might end up right where we left off when we started. Yesterday I realized something, or actually I think God asked me a question. I was imagining how I would feel if we stayed here in Bend, which would be "yea! God cares about us and what we desire, and I feel so blessed!" Or if we go back to the valley, "while I'm glad to be back with friends and family, why God would you send us to this place for us to fall in love with, only to send us back to where we started, no adventure, no journey, just a vacation." And I heard him say back to me, "do you really think I love you that little? And is your love for me so conditional? That I would only think that God has our best intrest in mind and cares about our desires, if I get what I want right now. Do I doubt his motives and love for me that much? I am starting to think that wherever we end up physically, our purpose for being out here was to move our hearts, not our address. This is Josh's and I's (punctuation there?) verse that we are clinging to today. From James in the Message.


"Consider it a sheer gift, friends when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure your faith life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do it's work so you become mature and well developed, not deficient in any way. IF you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. YOU"LL GET HIS HELP, and wont be condescended to when you ask for it. ASK BOLDLY, BELIEVINGLY, WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT. People who "worry ther prayers" (like moi) are like wind whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open. "

Thank you friends and family for your prayers! love you!