Go Ladybugs!

Along with Kindergarten we have started soccer. It is surely a new season for us Pannebakers! Every Saturday morning this fall will be filled with soccer jerseys, orange slices, and missing shin gaurds! Grace has impressed us again with her confidence. She gets right out there and goes after it. Josh is the team's assistant coach and I think they're both learning and having fun!

KINDERGARTEN!

Umm did I forget to blog about this monumental event? Well Grace started Kindergarten this past month! We talked about school all summer and she was so excited. The week before kindergarten I started to panic a little though. Grace is so sweet and also SO sensitive at times. Last year, after Judah was born, she had a really hard time with preschool. (not wanting to go, crying etc). She also tends to do well  away from us in ballet or preschool until she notices one of us and then breaks down into tears. It hadn't occured to me until a few days before school that a. sweet little grace didn't know one single person in her class, and b. she would be running into her beloved grammie everyday at school. (Which is awesome but I was afraid she'd get emotional.) Well despite all my worrying Grace was a confident, excited, kindergarten loving young lady! The very first day I expected to hang around till she got settled in her seat but she hung up her backpack and gave me a hug goodbye! (I kind of stood there stunned for a second like........oh you want me to leave???) I had even told Josh the night before that I would not leave her there crying, that I would use a gentle approach till she was ready and comfortable. Ha! I held it together most of the morning. Gabe bought be a starbucks to make me feel better. Every day she tells me she can't wait to go back. ........oh and Im the classroom mom! PTA here I come :)

 

 At her class

 Quick hug and pic with mom

 Getting her backpack ready the night before

The anti blog

I've started a new blog........about how horrible blogging can be!!! What?? I know. But it's true. Truth be told, I just have so many flaws and struggles- as well as good days, good mom moments, and once in a while I make something pinterest worthy. BUT I just feel the need to share truth, and I'd love to hear it back from y'all too. Maybe we can encourage each other by really sharing- both the good and the bad. http://notsoperfectfullofgrace.blogspot.com/

The Beach!

 Of course Gabe found a way to play with his car

This summer we are "staycationing it" Meaning we aren't. going. anywhere. :)  But the awesome thing about kids is that if you make something sound awesome, it just is. A few weekends ago we decided to plan a beach day. One of my favorite things in the world is vacation. I love it. And since we aren't going anywhere "big" in the near future I tried to really amp up our day away and make it a little mini retreat. The kids were SO excited. They were SO excited in fact, that they were utterly dissapointed when Josh, Judah and I were not ready (and fully dressed) to head out the door at 6AM!!!!! When we got to newport it was still cloudy and a bit chilly so we ate at the Rouge Brewery. Then we spent the entire day at the beach. It got to the point where there wasn't even enough wind to fly our kites! It was great! We played hard all day, had a picnic dinner, went into town for ice cream and got home slightly after bedtime. It was a great day, and Gabe and Grace are still talking about how much fun they had.

There are so many many things I have been meaning to post about all summer long. We have been having a great summer. I always feel a bit remorseful on days like today, when I forget my camera as we do something I'd like to document and remember. But that being said I've been savoring the moments and instead of writing blog posts in my head (which I can't help but do sometimes) while we're doing something I've been soaking it in. My kids are at such fun ages. Grace is just learning everything, not only is she learning to read (beyond memorized words!) but something has clicked in her mind now where she hears and understands EVERYTHING. It is a very new experience for us, to have a little mind hearing, understanding, and questioning everything we say, but I actually love it. It is making us actually think before we speak and practice kindness and truth ALL the time (well try to at least). We are having to BE good, Christ loving, and caring people instead of just trying to TEACH her right from wrong. She is just lovely both inside and out. AND she starts kindergarten in only a few weeks! I can't believe it!

Gabe, my sweet boy Gabe turned 3 this summer! He is still the most spirited and energetic boy I know. He has been learning a lot this summer as well. He's starting to learn his numbers and shapes. He knows his abc's and his colors. And big news - he is completely and fully potty trained! He was using the potty off and on for around 6 months, and then one day, shortly after his birthday he just said- "I want to wear undies". And from then on we were just done with diapers! He doesn't even wear pull ups at night! I am so proud of him. While he is so passionate about everything he does (which is good and bad) he is such a sweet boy, and I love watching him grow into the person God made him to be.

Judah bear. I am constantly saying "Judah baby of the world" (stolen from the Kevin Henkes book Julius). Because he just is. He is SO sweet. He is happy almost all of the time. He loves watching his crazy brother and sister run around and yell and scream, and they equally delight in his rewarding giggles. All in one week, grace began to read, Gabe potty trained himself and Judah started eating real food! He is now eating rice cereal and a few fruits and vegetables. I am truly cherishing this year of cuddling him and enjoying his sweet babyness because I know how quickly it will pass!

Judah Bear

I am finally here to post about sweet Judah and his birth story.
The week leading up to his birth, just might have been the longest week of my life! I was due on sunday and skipped dox and everything else planned for the day and hoped that sometime during the day I would have a real excuse for not going. I had been having uncomfortable contractions for weeks, but nothing consistent. Several nights of "this might be the night" but waking up to still being pregnant! I had three friends due after me TWO of which had already had their babies. Needless to say I was getting very inpatient and downright miserable. I had to kind of wake myself up mid week and remind myself that he actually WAS coming, that I WAS going to give birth and WOULD get to meet him. You tend to lose it a little those last weeks, and I actually felt like he was NEVER going to come! On valentines day, my third friend had her baby too! I was SOO happy and excited for her and SO very jealous! I wanted mine! Anyways blah blah longest week ever. It ended up being a blessing, Gabe got croup that week, which is something he usually gets pretty bad - half the time ending up in the emergencyroom. Not only was he sick but the pending approach of new baby was starting to set in and both kids were a bit emotional. The week allowed us to spend extra time with them, as well as get all of us healthy, rested, and ready! Fast forward to the following saturday. I had been hiding, sad that when anyone and everyone asked me if I felt anything my answer was always no! After Josh let me sleep in a bit, I got up, and posted on facebook that I was still pregnant and there would be no baby that day. (Which was true). But immediately after posting I got up to get my coffee and my water broke!! My water did not break with G or G, so I wasn't totally sure it was happening, I told Josh but no one else- afraid I would have a false alarm wetting the pants again situation...........that happened to a friend of mine. :)
After an hour or so I was convinced, my water was definitely (and continously) breaking. So we called in the troops! My mom came over, ready to head to the overpriced luxury hotel with us, and my dad came over to watch the kids......THEN I called the doctor. I forgot to mention that I was having ZERO contractions. I felt totally normal :( and was sooo sad. More waiting. So the doctor said to wait to come in till I felt something, or if nothing happened in 24 hours they would give me a c-section!! (Since I was a V-BAC, they would not induce me) Which they didn't actually do (a c-section after 24 hours) I think they just have to say that in case they need to. So we waited and waited and waited. The night before we celebrated josh's bday early- hoping again that Judah would inturrput that. So all day Josh and I or my mom and I would take a walk around the block, then eat some cake, take a walk, then eat some cake. Over and over again and still NOTHING!!! I was so sad, and after dinner I called my doctor to check in like she had asked. She told me just to come in, that I mine as well since they'd probably have to do something in the morning anyway. So we put the kids to bed, packed up and went to the hospital around 9pm. I told my peeps who were going to be with us for the birth that we were headed in but not to get excited it was going to be a while. We leisurly moseyed to the hospital, checked in, found a good channel on the tv (they had E! yay!) Then I just all of a sudden went into labor!! The doc checked and I was still only 3? or 4? cm I don't remember. Contractions were pretty strong all through the night, different though, because I would have one major one, then like an aftershock one shortly after, that wasn't as strong. My nurse (who was really annoying and talked and talked and talked) told me sometimes those contractions weren't very "effective". The other different thing about this labor was that because my water had broke they weren't going check me at all until they had to. Which was good because I think I lasted longer without an epidural because I didn't want to have one too early (to keep labor going) and I never knew how far a long I was. I made it all through the night (watched a keeping up with the kardashians marathon with my mom) and the contractions got really strong. Since I had been up all night, and standing mostly because it seemed to hurt less that way, I was SO tired. I thought I would try to lay down for a little and just breathe through them. But after laying down for a minute, I felt somesort of pop or weird sensation inside and then a rush of pain like I had never felt before. I panicked- yelling at josh to get me up, get the nurse, and get me an epidural. All I remember is poor josh saying "well which one do you want me to do first- trying to help me best he could" I screamed to get me up and then he ran and got the nurse. I was in bad pain before but this was just sooo much pain. It was all I could do to breathe and not pass out with each contraction. I couldn't even moan or scream through them anymore. I asked the nurse for the epidural (which she had been pushing on me all night). And since I was a VBAC an anestesiologist is supposed to be there all the time.   Each contraction I had I would squeeze josh's hand, breath through it and then as soon as it was over, in a monsterly voice, scream at the nurse to "get- me- the- d*** -epidural!!!" then she would tell me it would be a few minutes, then I would fall asleep on Josh for a minute and then I would get another terrible contraction. Then I heard her (the nurse) say "don't worry he doesn't live far away" So mid contraction, I then screamed "HE'S NOT EVEN HERE YET!!!!!??" So sad and mad was I. FINALLY FINALLY the man I had just called the b*****d word, showed up. (Later I found out he was a very nice man). He gave me the epidural, and slowly but surely the pain subsided. Now, it was only an epidural- no brain drugs, but for some reason it made me extremely happy and also quite funny. I believe at one point I proposed to the anesthesiologist, told everyone how much I LOVE DRUGS, and also told everyone that I hoped Judah was stupid and therfor would have a small head. (Judah I didn't mean that- you are very smart, and Im so glad :) Around my funny, relaxed, rested time Beka showed up to hang out, take pictures, and meet Judah. Oh and Kari got there right before my epidural. (I was bummed that my labor looked easy- they missed the hard part) The rest of labor was sooo weird, good, and different then my others. I rested for a while, everyone just kind of hung out. Then I started to feel pain down below. The anesthiologist gave me a self medicating button to give myself (a very limitted) amount of epidural when I needed it. It wasn't feeling like it was working so I used it like a video game (clicking constantly and laughing....is that bad?) but it didn't help. I started to feel the need to .....ehem....you know, go... I told the doc and she said she could check me, but I decided I wanted to let Judah work his way down more himself. I was still pretty tired and only wanted to push when I had to. (Plus I was in pain but nothing too bad so I was scared the worst was still to come like it was when I was pushing with Gabe.) Finally I had her check me and I was 10cm! So I pushed, and it didn't hurt to bad, so I was kind of thinking it was working. I would push during the contraction, and then rest in between. There was about 2 minutes inbetween and at one point everyone was waiting for me to push, (they were being very supportive) and I kinda looked around and laughed because it had been so many hours of pain, and here I was pushing and waiting and felt almost totally fine!! IT TOOK 15 MINUTES! I couldn't believe it was finally over!! After waiting soooo long he was here! It was bizzare because the pushing is what hurt so bad with Gabe, but this time it was the transition period. So when he came out I was astonished that the worse never came! Anyways, I was a little scared because it felt like forever before he cried. But he was fine, and so handsome. Oh I just couldn't believe my little laid back, in a hurry to get no where, boy was here! He looked a lot like his brother, but was definitely our little judah. Well not so little, when the nurse announced that he was 9lbs!! I was so proud - my big little boy!! And I pushed him out in 15 minutes!!  We were so happy, and so happy to have shared the birth with so many wonderful people. He was born at 11:39am. Gabe and Grace and my dad came to meet him that afternoon, and fell in love with him just as fast!

I know I have much more to post about everything in between then and now, but my hands are sore from all this typing!

post to come.....

holding judah, no hands to type.

Nesting Part two

I don't know if this impresses any of you, but if you saw my fridge earlier today- it would. It was so gross, I HATE cleaning the fridge. (Plus any mess I can just close the door to gets forgotten in my mind very quickly). But I got a surge of nesting energy today! I "nested" WEEKS ago, in preparation for the babe, but maybe NOW is the real deal. (and yes those are Farmer Josh's fresh eggs from our backyard chickens!)

p.s can you tell I'm bored waiting for baby- I've blogged more and been on facebook more in the past two days then I have been in months!!

10 months pregnant! and a taste of having 3

I was so confident in making my due date that Judah even has a valentines day outfit!! :(

The past few nights have been rough. Yesterday I was having contractions to the point where I thought FOR sure I'd be in full labor today. Not the case. And while constantly preparing (both physically and mentally) for going into labor our kids have been having a rough week. Mostly Gabe. Number 1, he has croup. So the first night of sickness I worried so much that I wouldn't be here to listen to him breath. (Last year he went to the er for croup). Then he got a little better but decided he doesn't like to take a nap or go to bed at night AT ALL. So he's not feeling good, and we've (mostly Josh) has been spending two hours putting him to bed at night and several times up with him through out the night. So I keep thinking first of all, I'm uncomfortable why wont he just sleep! Two, someone else (my dad or mom) is going to have to be trying to get him to go to sleep one of these nights, and that wont be fun for anyone. And three- Im bringing a newborn home!!! I need my two year old to sleep! I've been praying over Grace and Gabe and our family a lot. I think this is the reality, back to having no control, not sleeping... either of us......ever! But I think God has a lot in store for us too. I am already learning more about sacrifice, love, and patience- and I'm sure those lessons have just begun!

Camera!

Josh earned a gift card from work- The above and beyond award- because he's been working so stinkin hard! (I'm so proud of him!) And so we finally finally bought a camera! Maybe this will inspire me to start blogging again. And I am so thankful that we will get to take lots of pictures of baby Judah.................if he ever decides to come and meet us!!!

Judah Charles

Oh the wait! Dear Judah, we love you and are ready for you, so please come soon!

We finally had some snow! Hot cocoa, pancakes, playing, walking, snowball fights. We did it all and enjoyed it!

Everything is so pretty in whiteIncluding her!He decided I was right and needed gloves

Stop growing up!

He's just getting so big. I don't like it. Im sad that he's moving out of baby everything. Gabe recently just blows me away. He is so articulate. Always telling me about trains and cars and what they do. His favorite form of affection is to tell a person that he loves you more then dirt, or trains, or his new favorite body part. (yes you heard me!) So if he tells you he loves you more then dirt- take it as a huge compliment, because the boy does love dirt! He loves helping daddy mow the lawn, and collect eggs from the chickens. (That deserves it's own post later) He still loves playing with trains and cars and playing outside. He LOVES his new big boy bunk bed and has been sooo good about staying in it! His favorite foods are still anything sweet as well as peanutbutter and jelly, but is doing better at eating his veggies and other things I cook for him.

Yesterday was a big day for both gabe and me. He got his first (and probably much needed) hair cut. Josh started, and Im sure was doing a good job, but got fired in the process after making cry for cutting it too short! So it was a group effort, and in the end I think he looks pretty darn cute, and pretty darn old!

Nesting

I don't know if I'll finish Christmas. Christmas was good- the end. Maybe I'll get to it this weekend and maybe not! Oh well!

Lately I've gotten both a burst of energy as well as a burst of "oh wow I remember what being nine months pregnant feels like." Now that the holiday's are over, Im gung ho about getting all the things done that need to be done before baby comes, but at the same time am hurting all over and ready to go to bed most nights when Josh gets home from work. Also at the same time I am savoring this last month of being a family of four, and even enjoying pregancy and excited for labor as it could very well be our last little one. In the years since starting our family I've become wiser, and understand that my list may not be completed on time or ever, and that it isn't the end of the world. But this is what the pannebakers are tackeling this month.

1. Move gabe and grace into one room and new bunk beds - DONE!! (can't find checkmark)

2. Organize hallway art supply closet so kids can get out activites and put them away without being harmed in the process. (true story) -DONE!!

3. Finish Baby Judah's room

4. Make playroom out of half of garage

5. Find baby stuff (car seat, basinette, wash clothes, etc..)

6.Decorate the kids room a little to make it look cute/co-ed

7.Take down Christmas lights

8. Wrap up my Dox Kids duties

The kids LOVE their new room and their new bunk bed! They've been waking up a little early but for the most part stay in bed! (Yes even Gabe!) And this is our new and improved closet! I wish I had a before picture because it was BAD. I keep trying to post a picture of the disaster of a baby room we have to tackle today but it wont let me, so I will post before and after when it's done!

candy!

So on Christmas Josh and I recieved this jar of candy from my grandparents. I know what to get gabe next year, because it was his favorite thing under the tree.

Here he is sitting in one of his new presents with the jar of candyHere he is opening his stocking with the jar of candyHere he is showing me his presents with the jar of candyAnd finally here he is picking out a candy after mommy finally says yes

The kids LOVED giving money to "the wells" our church raised $34,000 for building wells in Gondar!

The kids made gifts for family. Hot chocolate stir sticks. and all I did was melt the chocolate!

Bamma and gramps stayed with us for Christmas. They took us to Zoo lights, it was so fun! Gabe got to ride the bus to the zoo with uncle luke.

We waited in line for an hour to ride the train- the main attraction at zoo lights. Gabe loved it but almost fell asleep once we got on!

Gabe got to bake cookies too.