Mommyhood

This past week I've been thinking a lot about mommy-hood and Gracie and just all the great things having her has brought to my life. All prompted by our good friends who will be having a baby any day now, I started to reflect on some of our families coolest moments so far. First of all, the first few days after Gracie was born were the absolute scariest yet best days of my life. I simply cannot put to words how I felt holding her, finally getting to see her beautiful face, and learning (with lots of help from nurses!) how to tend to all her tiny needs. That time also allowed my hubby to completely shine in action. Since I had a C-section I couldn't get out of bed for the first 24 hours and even after that it wasn't easy to do , so Josh did just about everything he could. He changed her, held her, helped me whenever I needed anything, and then when Gracie lost a lot of weight he stayed with her in the nursey even though he hadn't slept a wink in days. I can honestly say I love the man more than when I married him!!


My next favorite moment, or more like feeling or thing since Grace has been born might sound silly. I had a really really tough time feeding Grace after she was born and so after three weeks she was %100 bottle fed, which was fine, I always made a point to have either Josh and I feed her, and we cuddled and would make it good bonding time anyway. However, when Grace started eating solid foods I decided to attempt to make most of her baby purees. This consisted of many hours of cooking veggies and soups and different things, puting them in my food processor and then freezing them in ice cube trays. It took a long time and always made a mess, but I can't explain how cool it felt to really make something for her to eat. Like that I was creating her food for her. Like I said that may sound kind of like not a big deal, but I really feel like I got to experience a little bit of what it would be like to feed her myself when she was first born. Anyways, it was cool.

Another thing I was thinking about was teething. Which in most cases is a seriously not-cool thing, at least in our house. Except for the excitement of getting a new tooth, it means fevers, drooling and lots of crying at night. This doesn't happen quite as dramatically as it did the first 5 or so teeth, but a few nights ago I was up with her in the middle of the night. And at first I always get really frusterated because I'm so tired and just want her to go back to sleep, but then I think about how one day I'm never going to get to hold her like that again! And it's just around the corner! She's already a busy bee who doesn't have much time to cuddle and one day she will be all grown up and it will be over! I know that is a somewhat sad thought, but it just really put things into perspective for me about a lot of things. Caring for a baby and then a toddler can be exhausting but once its over its over, and all those sweet moments will be memories! (I know I sound melodramatic and the next age will bring good stuff too..sorry!)

Ok last one, for now. Her birthday. I've always loved birthdays. My parents and grandparents did a great job (and still do) at making us kids feel so special on our birthdays. However I never expected Grace's birthday to mean soo soo soo much more to me. I mean I did know I'd probably be way more excited about her birthday then mine, and excited to throw her a party and all. But as a mom, that day is like so meaningful because you are reflecting on the day she was brought into the world. It was an anniversary for one of the best days of my life, and I was just really surprised at how emotional I got, and how special a birthday really is when you realize it is celebrating her creation! You just don't think that way about yourself!

Well I better cut this long post short, my little creation just woke up and is singing her abc's in bed! (another favorite moment!)
So to end, to our friends Ty and Molly who inspired me to reflect, cheers to whats to come its going to be amazing!!!
-Leslie

Mini Me

Am I too old to use the phrase; "I totally had an OMG moment"? Well if I'm not then I did!
Grace has recently brought to my attention a little habit of mine. It seems whenever I finish a task or get ready to begin one (both big and small) I say either "OK" or "Alrighty". It could be something like opening the car door to get Grace out of her seat, or after I've buckled up and before I've started the car, or after I am finished fixing her plate for a meal but before I serve it to her. And excuse me as I giggle a little to myself but as I am writing this sentence she sat down with one of her toys and said "ok" in her cute little voice before beginning to play with it. It seems as though it is somewhat of a transitional phrase for me. In fact I must have used these two words soo much because she now says it before I get to it, almost ALL of the time!! So now, I am actually getting out of the habit because I rarely get a chance to use my little transitional words. My point from all of this is that I realized two somewhat cool but also really scary things; one she listens to me, and two she might actually turn out like me!! OMG!! I better pay attention!

Are we there yet????

When will we be there yet?


I hung out with a friend of mine while in Bend this past weekend and I realized how seriously human I am. Josh was taking his big Physical Therapy Exam in Redmond, he did great and passed and is now officially a certified PT! Whoohoo! So while he was taking his test Grace and I went out to breakfast with our friends Mary, and her son Grant. These two were really our only friends while we were in Sisters and we were so glad to catch up with them. While we were eating breakfast Mary asked how it was to be where we are, Josh with a new job that he loves, living in Corvallis, finally earning money, looking at houses etc.. and I realized at that moment, that I wasn't happy yet with our situation, I didn't feel "there" yet. Most likely because we are living with my parents for the summer, which has been great and a true blessing. But I think I thought we would magically find a house and be able to buy it the same week that Josh found a job. (And that buying a house would somehow put us somewhere we've been waiting to be)

Anyways what struck me was that we have been waiting to be where we are right now, for like ever! For Josh to have a job and be done with school. Often (VERY OFTEN) over the past 3 years you may have heard us start many sentences with the words "when we're done with school" or more likely "when we have a job" ...... and I think I imagined life to be suddenly better, not that it was bad in school, but like we would have arrived somewhere, like life would be more figured out or something. We have all these dreams and I put them all on this shelf for later, for when we get there. And I'm sure I did the same thing before I met Josh, "when I get married" and then it was "when we have a family" WHAT ABOUT NOW???? Why do I constantly find the need to live in the future? I think that what I have discovered from this is that I don't think we will ever be "there" yet unless we are content being "here" now.

Broken Bones and Ice cream cones

I belive that all moms battle with the desire and strive to be perfect moms, (or at least as good as the other moms they know). I , for example, will get on a roll doing my best to be cooking really healthy meals every night, teaching Grace new words and skills, getting her to say please and thankyou, buying the organic crackers that cost 5 dollars for a weenie little box, and so on and so on. I am big on milk drinking, vegetable eating, holding hands and outlet covers. I am too cautious at times and am even prone to hover. However, I am often reminded that I am not perfect, that the struggle to be such is tiresome and unfruitful, and that kids are resiliant. I learned this lesson again this past weekend. Still, 4 days after the incident it is difficult for me to write that Grace fell down a few stairs on Friday, and Saturday we found out she had a broken arm! The weekend was not fun. Grace was a trooper and remained her happy self as long as you weren't a doctor poking her arm or during what my new least favorite activity is, giving a toddler an X-ray, or getting a really hard, but hot pink, cast put on! She is doing well now, and I know that a broken arm is so small and not a big deal compared to other things that parents and babies have to go through, but even though small, it is really really hard to see your child broken, and worse to think you could have done something to prevent it! But life goes on, the great news is that she most likely only has to wear it for three weeks, at the end of which we will celebrate by going swimming!!! So to sum it up; grace has a broken arm, she's eaten ice cream every day since friday, and we're all still doing good! (I am trying to post a picture because she looks so darn cute, but my computer is acting funny so hopefuly it will work!)

Pannebaker Updates!

Hi friends and family!

I wouldn't be surprised if not too many people check my blog because I haven't written in it since we were in Sisters! Josh and Grace and I have been on "vacation" since graduation and have been traveling around and just hanging out. We spent some of our time in Yreka, CA with my grandparents where we were thouroughly spoiled and had lots of fun, and then we spent three days in Portland for our big mini vacation; there we went to the Zoo and to dinner and went swimming in the pool and just had a lot of fun just the three of us!!
We've been enjoying ourselves but are now excited to have started this new phase in our lives! Josh started his new job yesterday!!! He is working in Corvallis and Monmouth with PT northwest, and I think he is really liking it! Corvallis was certainly not where we thought we would end up, but now we are happy to be here!
We haven't found a place yet, and are staying with my parents until we get a little more settled. It's been lots of fun for us, especially Grace to get to spend so much time with her Papa and Grammy and uncles! Gracie has changed a lot too in the past few weeks. She can now say her ABC's all the way to G! And she can tell you that she is "one", she also has a new favorite word ....."no!" She is still her happy self and we're having lots of fun together!

The Doctor is in!

So this post I am writing is to brag about my husband a bit. As many of you know he just finished grad school two weeks ago and is officially a Doctor of Physical Therapy! I have to say it has certainly been a journey. Three years ago Josh and I got married, we went on our honey moon and the day after we got back he started school. About a year later we had Grace. We've moved twice, well kind of three times, and faced many many many unknowns. We've made friends, said goodbye to friends, been alone, and grown closer to God. So much has happened since Josh's first day of PT school, and I am so proud of the man that Josh has become through it all. I am proud of him for studying when he didn't want to, for going to 8 hours of class 5 days a week for 3 years, commuting to everything and just plain working hard. Even more, I am proud of the way he has put his faith in God while in school. So many times did he want to quit school and go find a job somewhere so he could provide for his family, but he prayed and he endured and he did what God wanted him to do.
Josh- I am thankful for your hard work, your love for me and Grace and your trust in God.
YIPEEE! and I love you, Les

We'll be comin over the mountain!

Friends! Josh and Gracie and I will be coming back to town, for who knows how long, come Monday. We have lots of free time (especially me and Grace) and we can't wait to visit!
We are so excited to catch up and visit with you all!