Sledding with daddy!

Christmas 2010

While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads............The stockings were......set on the couch with care!Yummy Christmas breakfast while we played with toys! I think I was just as excited to play with their toys as they were!Gabe has never been more excited! He has done nothing but play with his Choo choo since he woke up! Grace has been asking for a pillow pet for MONTHS. Gramie got her one, and she was SPEECHLESS, for real, when she saw it.

Big girl bike from papa Josh and I cooked a yummy feast!Too tired to stand doesn't mean too tired to play!

Merry Christmas!

How to be thankful.

Are you thankful? I've been struggling lately with thankfulness. Not struggling in the sense that I'm never thankful, lately in fact I've been so thankful, so often. My struggle is with the fact that it doesn't last. I have been learning so much this past year. SO much. In the past few months God has been teaching me to be thankful and content. I have had moments, where my heart swells to the point where I don't think I can experience more joy or feel more grateful to God for giving me all that he has. My children are so sweet, and I am so thankful that I get to stay home with them and watch them grow. My husband is amazing. The way he loves and cares for me makes me the luckiest girl in the world. And the list of God's blessings go on and on. But somehow shortly after a moment of blissful joy where I am grateful and aware of all my blessings, I forget. I snap at my children, I criticize my husband, I wish for more money, a different housing location and that list goes on and on as well.

The other day at the mall, black Friday to be exact, I felt sick to my stomach as we were eating lunch at the mall- and it wasn't the big mac doing the upsetting. I saw a man. And I really actually have no idea what his financial, social, family status was. But he looked lonely and hungry. He ate a very simple meal and ate it alone. We accidentally ordered too much food. I was sitting with my two beautiful children, my awesome mom, eating too much food and with shopping bags spread about our feet.

Now, I still love presents, and actually I still love the mall...............it's sparkly.

But I felt sick because I think I felt the weight of too much. Too much food, too much stuff, too much discontentment. I had a weird yearning at that moment at the mall, to be bombarded with visions of have-nots. At the mall we are bombarded with- you are missing something, you need this, you have not this!!!! And I want to know WHAT I HAVE.......you know?

A couple months ago, for a moment, I knew what I had. I know I freaked out prematurely, but the doctors weren't sure what was going on with Josh. They gave him a bunch of tests looking for lots of scary things- one being lymphosis sp? Cancer. I swore I would never criticize again, that I would appreciate him and all that God had given me. I SAW all my riches. Now I don't want to be scarred to death all the time like that. But I want to see flashing sparkly signs tell me "you have this" "look how God blessed you with that".

What inspired me to post this morning was Colossians 3. "Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven where Christ sits in the place of honor at God's right hand. Think about the things of heaven not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ who is our life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share his Glory......" Gosh I want that!

Now, I don't even really know what it would look like to set my sights on the realities of heaven, but I do know where my sights have been and it's not enough. Thankful for a moment then totally unhappy. I want to be full and content, overflowing with Joy, and it can't be purchased or even given to me by my loved ones.

later in Colossians 3 "Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him."

Hypocrite Mommy

Five minutes ago this was my conversation with grace:

Grace for the third time this morning: "whatever mom"
Me: Grace I don't really like it when you say that
Grace: Well, I like it
Me: Well sweetie, it's kind of rude, I don't want you to say that anymore
Grace: well why do you say it then, when you fight with daddy...............

OMG! We are actually at the stage where if I'm not a good person My kid will notice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Better shape up!

Who's the boss?

I posed that question (who's the boss?) to Grace tonight- to which she answered, "Gabe". And she was right. Dinner time is near a disaster almost every night lately. I thought Grace was my strong willed child, but I was wrong. Almost every night Gabe and I battle it out over dinner. What to eat, when to eat, and whether he eats with his binki and lion in hand. Some nights he will scream until I make him peanut butter and Jelly, some nights he will just scream for the 30 minutes I am making dinner. Tonight he wanted his binki and his stuffed lion while he sort of ate what I made for dinner. He won. I've always believed that parents need to be parents, that your children shouldn't run the show. I also thought I knew how to execute that disposition, but I do not. I have been out-willed and out-screamed; something I, a strong willed person myself, am not used to and I don't like it! What do you do? Gabe is 16 months old. He knows "no". But can't understand - "you need to eat what I made you because if all you eat is pbnj you will get scurvy". Do you let him scream? (and I mean for like an hour, he does not back down easily)

When we were battling over sleep, and I didn't want him in our bed, we tried everything and eventually one night I actually fell asleep to him screaming because he had gone on so long, and I was so exhausted. It was horrible, but eventually he started to sleep. Anyways gimmie your solicited advice!

A time out that didn't work

Pictures and Words

As I stated in my previous post, I would like to play catch up to all that has been going on in our lives. For now I will post one pic and one (or a few) words for each event!

Birthday Present
City Slickers!

Birthday- so loved!

Awesome Great Grandparents

Just cute

Such good friends!

Pennsylvania- long flight!

Ice cream University- possibly my calling!

So big, so proud!

Birthday breakfast- chocolate waffles not burnt!

Beauty

Leslie's bucket list

Josh's bucket list

Cousins

All boy

Fun games

First field trip!

Messy Mount

Mini Cupcakes for Grace's Class Halloween Party
Gabe enjoying his donut after carving pumpkins

Watching The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown

Gabe was a stud his first year trick or treating!

Princess Belle and a duck hunter

You know how when a space, like a garage, gets messier and messier. When it starts to get so bad it becomes insurmountable, and you begin to avoid it because you don't even know where to start? Well that is what our garage looks like right now, so messy we don't even know where to start, and metaphorically that is how I feel about blogging! I haven't blogged since AUGUST! There are so many things that have happened since August that I don't know if I should even attempt to catch up or just start with today! So I will start with this weekend, and if I'm brave enough I will play catch up as well.