updates

The lolipop is our new favorite treat

At the aquarium in seaside because it was pouring!

That infomous day.....

new favorite costume

Just a few quick going ons in the Pannebaker house!

-Potty training is nearly non-existent so life has pretty much gone back to normal

-We're starting some projects, painting my childhood bed to put together and give to grace, painting Gabe's room, and as soon as it's sunny starting operation back yard!!

-Went to the beach last weekend for a work confrence for Josh and to hang out with the family

-We're supposed to go to portland, just Josh and I, for a night and 2 fullish days this weekend, but Grace has a fever.......we'll see!

-Looking forward to Easter, been working on an easter dress for Gracie and its not great but actully starting to look like a dress!

the latest...

So I know, wow, all I do is blog. But the past two days I've been completely locked up in my house, Josh has had to work late, and Grace and I have been having a rough go. We're doing much better now. To fill you in from lunch time yesterday; I put a diaper on Grace hoping she could finally relax and just do her thing. We ate an early lunch and she almost fell asleep at the table at like 11:30! (Normal nap time is 1:00) She slept for 3 full hours and I rested too, we both really needed it. I decided to wash my hands of the morning. If she asks to go on the potty, which later she did--with no results, I will let her go but that's it for a little while. I've kind of had this all or nothing mentallity about potty training, I do better with change this way, but that might not be what she needs. Anyways, we'll see. So she was back to her happy self, giving me lots of hugs and we went to the park and had fun. It may sounds silly but it felt so good to know that I hadn't completely ruined our relationship that morning, I was able to sigh with relief to know she still loved me!! (I know that's crazy but I felt really bad about the morning)
So we got back from the park and were upstairs folding clothes when (and this is after a snack)
she started throwing up!!! Oh what a day!!! She was sick several times throughout the evening. And the hardest part about this day was that I didn't really have any of my normal comforts to make me feel better about my day, or happier or whatever. Josh had a really busy day and had to do a work thing in the evening so he didn't get home till about 8:30, my mom had stuff going on and I couldn't really talk to her. I had finished my book so I didn't have anything to take my mind off my day, I couldn't eat chocolate and I couldn't watch TV because Grace watched cartoons all afternoon because she was sick. And as hard as it was and as much as I cried and felt alone, and wished that Josh was home, or I could eat the chocolate ice cream bar in the fridge, I really realized how much I don't rely on God or look to him for comfort. This is kind of what we are looking at for lent, taking away some of our comforts and seeking God instead. And while I knew I wasn't perfect, yesterday was like a wake up call to how much I really avoid God on a bad day. By 7:00 I was tired, had puffy eyes, was lonely and well just bored watching cartoons. So with having NOTHING else to possibly do I FINALLY opened my bible. But it took having no other options to get there. Anyways, all in all it was a good lesson. God wants to be all the things that I look for in other people or food or entertainment or whatever. And he's much better at being what I need too! I don't think it's bad to find a little comfort in a friend or spouse or even some ice cream, and I will probably always be that way a little. But they are not constant like God is, and can't ultimately comfort me or bring me Joy like God can, so I need to look to him first.
Pee, to poop, to puke to God. what a day!

The girl who just wouldn't go

So Grace and I have been batteling it out for a day and a half. Normally, I would not give up on something hard after only this short amount of time. But I've said before that I don't beleive in forcing my child to use the potty, and against my inner mom voice and better judgement that's what I've done today! She is interested in the potty, she loves her new undies and she's even willing to sit on the potty and try - for like ever- while we read books or sing songs or whatever. But one, she will sit on the potty, literally, for 45 minutes not go, get up and pee like crazy 2 minutes later in her undies, so I don't think she knows yet when she needs to go, which I believe could be teachable. However, she really really doesn't like going in the potty. Sorry for oversharing but she has been holding in a poop since yesterday morning! Im not kidding, I know she needs to go, she's uncomfortable and she keeps tooting (grace I am sorry if you are reading this one day and completely mortified!) and earlier on the potty she accidentally did poop a little and I showed her and got all excited for her and she LITERALLY CLIMBED OVER ME OUT OF THE BATHROOM SCREAMING! Im not joking, so then I was like forcing her to sit on the potty which is something I said I would never do even before I even had kids! ARGGG! Anyways by lunch time we were both a puddle of tears, which by the way me crying totally freaked her out too. So I plopped her in front of the TV in a diaper and sat in the bathroom and blubbered like a baby. And while I was blubbering I did realize that there are worse things and that she will not be wearing diapers when she's 12, but I just felt like such a failure. I didn't understand why other moms could do this and I couldn't. I mean this is our FOURTH time trying to potty train. But after a good talk with both my mom and my husband I know that I did the best I could and so did she, and that I really don't get to decide when she's ready. I know that alot of this had to do with my pride too, I wanted her to be potty trained like other kids her age, I didn't want to have two kiddos in diapers and I liked the idea of not buying diapers for a few months. But again, there are worse things, and making her and myself completely miserable with the only things to show for our efforts is a pee covered carpet and puffy eyes....its just not worth it.
My mom says this is one of those things you forget about later on , like labor......I sure hope so!

P Day update

I feel like a faliure. I need feedback from all my moms out there. Was potty training really hard for anyone else? I keep hearing all the time how you're not supposed to force your kids to potty train, but then how do so many toddlers do it so young? Grace was all excited this morning, I had decorated the bathroom and got out all the treats. She loved her new undies and even loved trying to go on the potty. But out of the whole day we only had two successes where she happened to pee while I had her sitting on the potty, she never once told me she had to go, and I found her trying to hold it because she didn't want to go on the potty. She was gung ho about trying and about treats and stickers and all that, but I think she just doesn't like how it feels to not pee in a diaper. By end of the day we were both a puddle of tears, she would start to pee (most of the times not on the potty) and then totally freak out and cry. I was really positive all day, I never scolded her, I made a huge deal when we got any pee in the potty, and still she hates it. This is by far my least favorite thing I've ever had to do as a parent! I am planning on trying again tomorrow. I am hoping that she just doesn't like change and doesn't like the feel of peeing w/o a diaper and that she'll get over that. Question for other moms- did your kids already know how to tell they needed to go pee or did they learn that as you potty trained?
Like I said I can tell when she needs to go now, she does this little dance, so I will use that to my advantage tomorrow. Today I would have her sit on the potty for like 45 minutes sometimes, she either wouldn't go or would only go a little and then get off and pee a ton in her undies two minutes later!! Anyways, this is all a big ramble, but Im doing my blog therapy for the day.
p.s the week I fast from chocolate for lent was NOT a good week to start potty training!

P DAY!

Today is potty day. I know you cannot "force" a child to potty train but today is the day!!!! We are throwing out the diapers (infact I'm about out- and not buying more!) I've decorated the bathroom, made her a sticker chart (one for her doll as well) have lots of fun drinks and salty snacks and treat prizes to choose from after success, as well as some wrapped up new undies for her to open! So anyways, pray for us!!! (I mean it , I'm actually really intimidated by this whole ordeal) and I will give everyone an update sometime later in the day or tomorrow!!

For Bamma & Gramps!

Gracie and Mommy had a fun day of making a fun, healthy snack that Grace loves...........Strawberry Smoothies!!!!!!!!! (Though she is not fond of the blender)

For Jeni and Amy

First, Grace was making silly faces and I just thought this one was so cute

Also, when Josh was taking my picture, she really wanted us to take a pic of bunny

This posting of me and my belly is not done in vein but for my mother and sister in law who haven't seen me and the baby boy yet!