It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..

Ok first, I haven't actually read whatever book that came from- I don't think. So I apologize if I've miss-used it.

Why does everything that is so good have to be equally so hard? There have been so many times when a mother, who's kids are grown, will look at me and my kids with a soft smile (as they are destroying the napkin holder at Starbucks) and say something like "oh I miss those days, and you will too".

Both Grace and Gabe are going through "growing pains" right now. I learned in my adolescent health class in college that when the frontal cortex of a child is growing (which it does dramatically at age 2 and early teen years) kids get a case of just being, well, bad! And my kids' brains are growing! Our house is loud, arguing is frequent and the word "No!" is thrown around constantly between them and us. We were having a long day the other day and by lunch time I was at my wits end. Gabe threw his cup, grace tried to pick it up for him, he threw it back down and hit her on the foot, she hit him back. She was crying, he was crying and then when I picked him up he threw his lunch at me and I started crying! (just an example!)

There are moments when I feel disrespected, walked all over and unappreciated (not by josh- he is great!) I get tired, and count the hours till bedtime.

But then I think how great it is to feel needed. How much I know I'll miss having my kids at home, all the time, never having to wonder how they are doing or if they're ok.

And I love the fact that they haven't quite broken the threshold of the world yet, and are protected, safe, and blissfully happy. I love this phase and can't wait for it to be over! I don't want it to end, yet it drags on so slow! With all my heart I don't want them to grow up, or change or fly from the nest. I love their innocence, their joy, their sense of humor, their little laughs and little hands. I love them SO much. And I am realizing that the best things in life are the hardest. That nothing as good and sweet as their little faces, comes easy. I'm ready to embrace, breath deep, and appreciate this season!