How to be thankful.

Are you thankful? I've been struggling lately with thankfulness. Not struggling in the sense that I'm never thankful, lately in fact I've been so thankful, so often. My struggle is with the fact that it doesn't last. I have been learning so much this past year. SO much. In the past few months God has been teaching me to be thankful and content. I have had moments, where my heart swells to the point where I don't think I can experience more joy or feel more grateful to God for giving me all that he has. My children are so sweet, and I am so thankful that I get to stay home with them and watch them grow. My husband is amazing. The way he loves and cares for me makes me the luckiest girl in the world. And the list of God's blessings go on and on. But somehow shortly after a moment of blissful joy where I am grateful and aware of all my blessings, I forget. I snap at my children, I criticize my husband, I wish for more money, a different housing location and that list goes on and on as well.

The other day at the mall, black Friday to be exact, I felt sick to my stomach as we were eating lunch at the mall- and it wasn't the big mac doing the upsetting. I saw a man. And I really actually have no idea what his financial, social, family status was. But he looked lonely and hungry. He ate a very simple meal and ate it alone. We accidentally ordered too much food. I was sitting with my two beautiful children, my awesome mom, eating too much food and with shopping bags spread about our feet.

Now, I still love presents, and actually I still love the mall...............it's sparkly.

But I felt sick because I think I felt the weight of too much. Too much food, too much stuff, too much discontentment. I had a weird yearning at that moment at the mall, to be bombarded with visions of have-nots. At the mall we are bombarded with- you are missing something, you need this, you have not this!!!! And I want to know WHAT I HAVE.......you know?

A couple months ago, for a moment, I knew what I had. I know I freaked out prematurely, but the doctors weren't sure what was going on with Josh. They gave him a bunch of tests looking for lots of scary things- one being lymphosis sp? Cancer. I swore I would never criticize again, that I would appreciate him and all that God had given me. I SAW all my riches. Now I don't want to be scarred to death all the time like that. But I want to see flashing sparkly signs tell me "you have this" "look how God blessed you with that".

What inspired me to post this morning was Colossians 3. "Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven where Christ sits in the place of honor at God's right hand. Think about the things of heaven not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ who is our life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share his Glory......" Gosh I want that!

Now, I don't even really know what it would look like to set my sights on the realities of heaven, but I do know where my sights have been and it's not enough. Thankful for a moment then totally unhappy. I want to be full and content, overflowing with Joy, and it can't be purchased or even given to me by my loved ones.

later in Colossians 3 "Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him."