Mommy Guilt

I just spent the past 60 minutes trying to get Gabe to take his nap. My head hurts and I'm sure his throat as the poor guy cried the whooooooole time. Grace was downstairs dangerously eating her choking hazard of a lunch, periodically crying (for real) screaming "I'm a baby too" since I've paid her no attention this morning. I spent the lunch hour litterally running from Gabe to Grace. Gabe to give him his binki and try and calm him down to Grace to make sure she wasn't choking, tell her she's a big girl, tell her mommy's sorry, and to find her when she once in a while wandered from the table to hide from me. Right now I should be desperately racing through my chores of the day, but I'm not, because I just have this burning on my heart right now. (and when I say chores I don't even mean trying to clean my messy house, I mean basic keep the fam fed and clean and alive chores.
I finally just shut the door to the poor little guy's room and let him cry it out. If I pick him up and walk, we walk for 45 mins sometimes still to be put down and crying. If I rock him he wants to nurse even though he's not hungry- and then I'm the only one who can put him down for his THREE naps and bedtime. He wouldn't calm down with the binki, so I let him cry. It took 8 of THE LONGEST minutes of my life, but he fell asleep, on his own. And then of course I have to cry myself. I cry because I feel like the worst mommy in the world, letting my 3 month old cry himself to sleep, I cry because I not only ignored Grace most of the morning but yelled at her very loudly to sit down and eat her lunch, I cry because the clean pile of clothes and the messy pile of clothes have finally creeped accross my bedroom floor to the point where they are now one pile, and I cry because, though some days are better, others feel like making dinner and not yelling at my children are nearly imppossible. But after a few minutes of crying, I remembered Pete's sermon, last night at Dox, and God's sweet love. His love for me has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with my capacity. My capacity to keep a clean house, make amazing dinners, be the perfect mother, or even to keep my cool at all times. He loves me because he made me, because I'm his. And now I am crying again!! God loves you for the same reason, not because you are great at something, are successful, have the perfect fam, or whatever, he loves you because he made you and you are his. It's pretty hard to mess that up! Because you can't! It has nothing to do with what you can or can't do!!

Pumkin Patch and Cousins

We had a fun week, filled with birthday parties, enjoying family, and going to the pumkin patch!

GRACE'S BIRTHDAY!!!

Gracie girl, I cannot believe you're three! It seems like just yesterday that you were just a tiny baby! Daddy and I were over the moon for you from the start, and our love has only grown! You are smart, funny, sweet and energetic. While sometimes you are reserved to begin with; you are confident, sometimes stubborn, but always lovable. You are such a good big sister to Gabe and are the best little girl we could wish for! Your birthday was a blast! We had two parties, one with cake and family and another with ice cream and friends. We love you Gracie Happy Birthday!

Last days of summer....

A true cowgirl.

My little stud!

Such handsome guys

We spent the last days of summer at the fountain, eating ice cream, bbqing every night for dinner, eating lots of fruits and veggies from Grammy's garden, and Grace potty training herself. We celebrated the official last day of summer by doing all our favorites in downtown Corvally, the fountain, the dream, and gellato. A great day!

stay tuned...........

Just wanted to put a note out there that we are still here! I have several blogs in my head; including Grace's b-day, the ever growing gabe, summer summary and family visiting that I want to post but not enough time to load pics! So stay tuned and I promise more posts are to come!!

Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hallelujah! Praise God! The impossible has come true!!!! Grace is potty trained!!! This may be a premature evaluation, and I'm prepared for accidents and maybe even a bit of regression, but Grace has been using the potty since my birthday, last Wednesday. Sunday she pooped at someone else's house, and yesterday she stayed dry all day! Yesterday evening she started telling me she had to go pee pee along with doing the whole process entirely by herself- from getting on the big potty all the way to washing her hands!!! Now I know she will still have accidents, but what progress we have made! It is the best possible birthday present I could receive!!! Thanks Gracie you are awesome!

Beaver Game Pics

So Sweet!
Uncle Gare and Clancy

Beaver Boy!

Us with the wonderful host and hostess!

Good Friends!